18. Apr, 2018

The castles we build...

Over and over again we build castles in other people's hearts. Over and over again we find ourselves homeless. What part of us gives that sort of responsibility to another human being?

That's what it comes down to really. When you make someone else your whole world your relationship shifts from being an equal partnership to one person having complete responsibility for another whose actions they have no control over. The love takes a back seat because suddenly the joy has been sucked out of the partnership and one person is left bearing a burden.

How often have you told someone that they are your whole world? Or maybe that they are your everything? Or that you don't want to live without them? Do you honestly think that's healthy?

As a human being you are and should be responsible only FOR yourself. You may be responsible TO others but nobody else can take accountability for your happiness - that's down to you. So when you enter into a relationship you need to take that same premise with you. Your happiness should never be controlled by someone else. Your happiness should be enhanced by your partner. The balance shouldn't shift in that respect or else one person is left holding themselves accountable for something that should never be in their hands anyway. Resentment builds and the partnership turns into a provider/dependant relationship.

When your happiness resides in someone else you run the risk of facing a life without joy when they leave. When you examine your relationships, it's vital that you know that if the people in your life left you, you would survive. Yes you would hurt but your life can't come to a standstill. 

Love with everything you have but don't put so much pressure onto your partner that loving you becomes a chore. Know what you bring to the table and have the good sense to value yourself so much that you keep the responsibility for your happiness and stability in your hands.