2. May, 2018

Circles

We get pulled in so many directions on a daily basis. Everything is important or urgent or both. There are always people who need something from us and who just can't wait... whether it's a physical task or a listening ear the demands are there. And honestly? Most of the time that's okay. We love our people and our families and making time for them is second nature.

At what point though, do we stop become sacrificial lambs to some people who really just pull the ring out of it? 

It all comes down to understanding the quality of our relationships and this seems to be something very few of us understand. We give 80% of our time to people who should only get 20% while the people who are deserving sit patiently and wait for us to notice them. 

So let's have a look at this... we all have an inner circle. These people are our children, our significant others, our best friends. These are people who we could call in the middle of the night if there is a crisis. These are people who would drop what they are doing to help us. 

Then we have the circle of people surrounding those... friends who we have coffee or drinks with. People who come over for the occassional braai or dinner party. People we whatsapp occasionally to catch up. Still friends and still great people.

The we have the outer circle... people who we don't know that well. Business associates, bosses, acquaintances, friends of friends. 

Throughout our lives these circles change. People move in and out as our lifestyles change. 

Here's the thing though... How much of your time and energy is spent on the outer circle? How much is spent on the inner circle? Don't talk to me about quality time because the so-called quality time I see usually involves people glued to their phones. 

It's time for all of us to start nurturing those inner circle relationships and behaving impeccably towards the people in that circle with us. We're so polite to everyone else and so giving but our closest people are often treated as though they are always going to be there. 

Let's become conscious of the way we speak and the way we engage with those closest to us. I can promise you that it's going to hurt a hell of a lot more to lose a significant other or a child or a best friend than it is to lose a boss. So change your time ratios and change your respect ratios and start living the love instead of fulfilling society's demands.