22. May, 2018

Love's value

Nobody is going to love you exactly the way you want to be loved all the time. That's not their job. That's your job! Does that make their love any less valuable? If it does, then the problem is very likely not with them. The love freely given to us by others is priceless and so is the love we need to have for ourselves. 

Too often, I see people with a checklist for their partners. If the partner meets all the requirements then they accept and cherish their love... at first... until they start to take it for granted. And the stage where they take it for granted always comes because the love was never valued for what it was but rather for how it met their needs and made them feel. 

To love is a wonderful thing and to accept love at face value is even more wonderful. The minute we start placing demands on how a person loves us, it becomes manipulation. And manipulation leads to a sense of ownership. And a sense of ownership leads to our new toy losing its sparkle and no longer being valued for exactly what it is. 

Our partners are not there to grovel at our feet. They are not there to be in service to us. They are there to complement us, to meld with us and to contribute alongside us. Love is a two way street and if you find yourself keeping score then it's time to evaluate what value the relationship has to you. And if it has no value, you need to evaluate its cost... to you and to your loved one. 

Sometimes it's kinder to let people go.