Raise your hand if you've ever been called a control freak. Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought I'd see. When we become aware of our own need to control our circumstances and start to work on it and let go of control, we are also able to see that those people telling us we like to control things want to control things too. Control freak is humanity's default setting.
Wanting to control our environments (and in extreme cases) the people within those environments is our reaction to chaos surrounding us. It's an act of desperation which allows us to hide the fact that we are overwhelmed by the influx of information and sensory stimuli, not to mention the emotions being tipped over onto us.
Unfortunately this type of control is pointless. It's like that saying about having your ducks in a row and then one of the little fuckers wanders off again. And when that happens we lost our confidence. Problem is the confidence was based on an illusion because control over external factors is impossible.
So once again, turn inward. If you feel you need to control anything, then control your reaction to the outside stimuli. In that lies true power. It's hard work but it's not pointless because once you attain control over your reactions, you change the energy around each situation. Once that energy has changed and become something you can work with, problems seem to melt away and your confidence builds. And that confidence is no longer built on quicksand but on a solid foundation of rock.