18. Jun, 2018

Chasing perfection

We spend a lot of time chasing perfection, don't we? We want to be perfect wives, husbands, partners, mothers... the list is endless. Hopefully at some stage we realise perfection isn't possible and chasing it is unhealthy. 

Let me throw a spanner in the works. Once we realise that we don't have to be perfect, do we extend that same understanding to everyone around us? Or do we just move that need for perfection into another, less obtrusive spot?

So why then do we still want to have perfect relationships? Why do we look for a perfect match? Yes, I'm looking at you... don't deny it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all do it. We pursue perfection in other areas of our lives exactly because we can no longer expect it from ourselves. 

If that burden was damaging to us, then how much damage does it do to our relationships. So, time for some home truths...

No relationship is exactly equal. There will always be one partner who gives more at a specific time. That's okay... as long as the equilibrium is restored at some stage by the other partner jumping in and doing their bit. We're not meant to be equal, we're meant to be complementary. 

What we do need to wrap our heads around is this... There may not be absolute perfection in anything we encounter but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate moments of perfection. If you have a partner who makes a perfect cup of coffee or who mixes a perfect cocktail or who has a perfect smile or gives the most perfect hugs, that's something to celebrate. 

So look for those moments of perfection because those will become the memories we treasure. One day, when we look back on our lives, our memories will be so important and what a wonderful gift to ourselves to make sure that we have hundreds to choose from.