21. Jun, 2018

Lost in translation

What do you value most in your relationships? It's a question that will get a thousand different answers and not one of them will be wrong. So if none of those answers are wrong, then why is it that our partners don't understand our needs?

We've all heard about the five different love languages, right? What we forget is this. No matter how much you love someone, if you don't understand (not speak) their love language and they don't understand yours, your relationship will fail. 

It really is that simple. We don't need to show our love in the exact same way but we do need to see gestures of love for what they are. Too often in our relationships, we do things for people that come from deep within our soul and they are ignored. Ignore those things enough and the well dries up. Take it a step further and denigrate those things and it's going to be like the well wasn't there to begin with. 

This is why we often feel that our past relationships were completely one-sided. We didn't understand the love language our partner spoke. Okay, there are definitely exceptions to this but I'm not straying into a diatribe about narcissists. We walk away feeling as though we gave everything and received nothing and our partner walks away feeling like we never noticed the things we did for them. 

We've been so conditioned to look for signs that our relationships are failing or that our partners no longer love us that we've forgotten to look for signs of the opposite. 

This week, try to take note of the things that you take for granted that are really gestures of love. Look for the reasons your relationships ARE working and look for the signs that your partner does love you. Maybe it'll change things for the better.