21. Aug, 2018

Love yourself!

I cringe when I hear people say that nobody will find real love from others until they learn to love themselves. It creates this negative self belief that not only can you not find someone who loves you as you want to be loved but it's ALL YOUR FAULT! What a load of rubbish!

It's important to love yourself and here's why... when you truly love the person you are, you show others how to love you. It's like giving them a roadmap and making it easier for them to know how to treat you. It's then their choice what to do with that map. When you truly love the person you are, you're less likely to put up with being treated badly and it helps you avoid situations that are damaging to you. 

As humans, we want an explanation for everything. We want to know why we don't attract the love of our life. The reasons are varied and there could be any number of them. If we focus on one only (not loving ourselves) then there's a good chance that we aren't addressing the real issues. Maybe it's not the right time and there are lessons we still need to learn alone. Maybe we're looking in the wrong places. Maybe we're behaving like psycho stalkers and scaring the right people away. Hell, maybe we haven't bathed in two weeks and we really don't smell great on that first date. I know that's a bit extreme, but you get my point?

I think what's important here is not putting pressure on ourselves to find self love so that we can find a partner. Self love is something we need to focus on anyway. It's not a means to an end. It's the end itself. 

Once we learn to love ourselves, we'll be more discerning about who we allow into our lives. We'll still meet the people who would bring unhappiness to us but when we prioritise ourselves then chances are, we'll pick up on those signals a whole lot faster. 

So focus on self love but don't do it so that you can meet the person of your dreams. Do it because you deserve it and you are worthy of it and because your life will be richer for it. And shut down the people who tell you that you are single because you have a problem. Your singleness is your business and life is not a shopping list. Having a partner doesn't make you more or less successful at this life thing. Self love on the other hand, does.