21. Aug, 2018

Let loss go!

How many times have you thought you couldn't survive without someone or something? I definitely felt that way about a few people in my lifetime... and my career. Gods! I was so attached to the corporate ladder!

Over the past few years many things have died in my life. A few people too. It's been a steep learning curve so let me share some of what I've learned. 

No matter how much we deny that we don't do well with change, we really don't do well with change. I believed that change was something I embraced. I believed that until I realised there was a difference between willing, proactive change and changes that are forced on you. Changes that are forced on you give you no opportunity to choose your pace. You're left scrambling for equilibrium and sometimes for meaning too. 

So you learn that you might not be able to set the pace of the change but you are very definitely able to adjust your own speed, your own goals and your own expectations. Once you accept those three things as healthy, good things to do, then the change becomes a thousand times easier to cope with. Until then, people can tell you that everything happens for a reason until they're blue in the face, you still won't want to hear them. 

Here's the most important thing I've learned though. The loss of a person or a part of our lives doesn't actually hurt as much as we think it does. What really hurts is clinging on to the loss or to the person or thing when it is time to let go. We start clinging because we're terrified of the empty space that will be left when we let go. Then we carry on clinging because it becomes so much a part of our identity. 

Letting go will never be easy to do but you're never going to move forward until you do. Is it time for you to start uncurling your fingers?