27. Aug, 2018

Give and take

Sometimes self care is as simple as no longer allowing a person or situation that damages you into your space. Simple? Maybe not so simple. I think for all of us that realisation takes the form of a process. Sometimes it's long and sometimes we reach that point quite quickly. 

It's been said that I give people chances way more than I should. For me the process is easy. I recognise that not everyone shows love and care in the same ways that I do. As long as there is some kind of exchange happening that keeps a relationship in balance I'm not walking away. The problem comes in when we realise that the sacrifices made are one sided on a regular basis. It's not about a once off slide, it's about consistency. There will always be times when one person makes sacrifices and another doesn't. If it's a temporary situation then balance is restored. If there is gratitude for and recognition of those sacrifices then you're working with something decent. 

The relationships you need to be walking away from are the ones where you consistently give of yourself with nothing in return. Relationships, whether we like it or not, are transactional in nature. There needs to be give and take from both sides. There needs to be interest shown in the other party from both sides. There needs to be appreciation from both sides. 

I can already hear some people telling me that relationships aren't businesses. Granted, but let's bear in mind that our souls are as precious as our bank accounts. We need to ensure that a positive balance is maintained in both in order to keep on meeting our responsibilities. 

Walking away from a relationship should never be a knee jerk reaction. It shouldn't be done in a fit of rage. Those are the relationships we regret walking away from. But when we analyse a relationship and realise that they are depleting our reserves of love and patience, then for the sake of the wellbeing of our souls, it's time to move on. 

This works both ways... are you giving too much in a relationship? Are you taking too much in a relationship? Is it time to restore balance? Is it time to soothe your soul?