6. Dec, 2018

Connection

Connection with those you love is a daily choice. Yup... daily! Relationships don't die because there is a sudden onset of problems. They die because communication, attention and physical contact slowly disappear. 

When a person tells me that their marriage is ending, I want to know when they stopped enjoying each other. I want to know when they stopped having real conversations, not just the ones that entail grocery lists, to do lists and their children. I want to know when last they spent time together just having fun. I want to know when they stopped having meaningful sex. 

We all lead busy lives. Goddammit! We're all tired. We work, we cook, we look after families. What we should be doing as a priority is looking after our relationships and ourselves. 

I understand that we want life to be spontaneous. We all want the thrill of things just happening without planning ahead. At the same time though, we spend a huge amount of energy planning the logistics of everything apart from our relationships.

You know, when I look at people and I listen to the stories about not having enough time, I can't help asking myself what exactly is taking away from the time they should be committing to the most important relationship in their lives apart from the one with their own souls. I see people who spend ages scrolling through their Facebook newsfeeds, checking Instagram, chatting to their friends. I see people who take the time to sit outside and smoke a cigarette or a joint or have a drink. And yet their partners are sidelined. Their partners grow tired of begging for attention. And when their partners finally give up, nobody seems to understand why. 

It's time to decide whether your relationships are worth more than the other stuff that you find time to do. And once you've decided then it's time to get up and do something about it. It doesn't help to tell people you love them or that they are a priority if you don't show them on a daily basis how you feel. Your choice...