10. Jan, 2019

Good enough

How many of us have a pattern of getting involved in relationships that are destructive? How many of us seem to attract the same type of partner over and over again. In the beginning it looks great and then we discover that this person treats us badly, abuses us either physically or emotionally or both, is selfish, possibly even narcisisstic or has no interest in us as people or in meeting our relationship needs. 

How many of us stay in those relationships until there is no choice but to get out? And we tell ourselves that it's because we see the person's potential, or the good times are really good and almost make up for the bad, or it will get better once the person gets over their depression or the anger or their addiction, or we believe that we can heal them. 

Let me ask you this... when any one of those relationships began, were you in a really positive space in your life? A space where you were confident, knew and appreciated your self worth, felt really good about your future. 

It's not that we are magnets for people who treat us badly. Every single person in the world meets those types of people through their lifetimes. 

The difference is that those of us who get into these relationships and stay in them long term do so because we ourselves believe that we are not good enough. Right there, right at the beginning, that belief is there. We might think we're not thin enough, not exciting enough, not intelligent enough, not successful enough but whatever it is we believe that we are not enough and therefore we don't deserve better. We're lucky to have a relationship at all. So we continue to swallow what is dished out and our partner's behaviour takes us deeper into that pit of feeling we're not good enough. 

I want to tell you that there is not a single person in this world who is perfect. Not me, not you and not anyone else. We're never going to be perfect. But as long as we are committed to wanting to be better today than we were yesterday and better tomorrow than we are today, as long as we are committed to growth and progress, we are good enough. 

You are good enough. You will always be good enough. There is nobody in this world as good at being you as you are. Own that and know that you are worthy of receiving everything that you so readily give to everyone else.