11. Jan, 2019

Those pesky changes!

You know how I keep harping on about embracing change? How it's inevitable and we need to learn to go with it? Yup, as of today, Soulflight is back in Randburg after a very short stay in Pretoria. 

You may have guessed from recent posts that I have dealt with a bit of turmoil in my own life recently. I want to tell you that nobody is immune from that type of thing. Nobody should be put on a pedestal because they have all the answers. We're all in this together. I'm great at healing others, I'm great at coaching, I'm great at helping people improve their lives through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. But that help can't be forced on people. 

I have spent the last two years in a relationship with a man which has been far from pleasant. I walked in with open eyes knowing that he had issues but I believed I could help. I loved him enough to want to help him change his life. And he paid lip service to that change. He talked about wanting to grow. He talked about wanting to be healed. He talked about wanting to overcome his addictions. He wasn't ready to commit to those things though. He wanted a relationship that met all his needs and enabled his behaviours. 

And that right there is the point of this post. We are not responsible for changing anyone's life. If they want to change their life badly enough they will seek the help they need and they might or might not come to us for that help. Our responsibility is for ourselves and our own personal growth. We can't keep flogging a dead horse and we all (me included) need to learn when to realise that the horse is dead and walk away if we can't live with a person exactly as they are. 

My responsibility in this is now ensuring that I am in a safe place where I can be self sufficient. My responsibility is to sit back and make sure that I've learned the lessons I was meant to learn. My responsibility is to heal myself or to seek help if I can't. My responsibility is in how I react to this situation and I choose to allow it to help me grow as a spiritual being and as a very human being too. 

I have learned to watch actions instead of listening to words. I have learned that I need to be clear about boundaries. I have learned that I enable bad behaviour by just letting it go or hoping it will change. I have learned to walk away from anything or anyone that doesn't support me becoming my best version of myself. 

So come find me in Randburg. Let's journey together.