18. Mar, 2019

Light that spark

How does society expect you to change who you are? 

We can look at it on a micro or a macro level because the expectations are visible in both. I speak very much for the women here simply because I understand what it is to be a woman better than I understand what it is to be a man. I'm pretty sure that the men will identify with this as well though. 

So often in the context of our relationships (both intimate and broader) we are expected to make ourselves smaller, to dim our shine, because it makes other people uncomfortable. We're told from childhood not to be loud or brash or outspoken. We're told to be polite and kind and accommodating. At what point are we ever told to just be true to who we are? At what point is it accepted that the strength that is valued in women is valued in all its aspects and not just those that are not threatening to the status quo?

All too often, strong, confident women enter relationships and immediately start the process of surrendering their strength and the beauty of their raw feminine power. We do it because we're labelled demanding or high maintenance or bitches. So we tone it down and tone it down until we're shadows of who we used to be. And then we wonder why women hit their forties and become so full of rage and this fiery energy that wants to change the entire world. That's when people start to complain that we've changed. 

I'm guessing something similar is true for men too. I'm guessing that the sensitive parts of them that were once so valued suddenly become undervalued because they don't fit very well into the box of the strong protector. I'm guessing that the wild, free spirit that so attracted all the girls is no longer appreciated by the women because there is a real need to keep the man focused on herself and her children. 

Where is the middle road? There needs to be a path in every relationship that leads us to a safe haven, to a place where we can run wild without feeling as though we have become a target to those who would make us extinct. 

It's not too late to reconnect with our own inner potency. It might be tough to find under all the layers of societal conditioning but it's still there. It's the essence of who we are. When we feel that we've lost our shine, that is the spark we need to hunt for and rekindle. And with a few life-giving breaths, that spark becomes a roaring blaze and we're able to shine our light as a beacon for all who come after us. It comes back to leaving a legacy. It comes back to making a choice. It comes full circle to stepping into the people we were always meant to be.