25. Mar, 2019

Giving love

It's said that grief is just love with nowhere to go. If that's the case, and I believe it is, then the anger we feel at the end of a relationship has less to do with perceived slights on the part of another person and a whole lot to do with frustration that our love is not something they want. 

To a large extent, we believe that loving someone makes us vulnerable. What makes us vulnerable is not the love we give but the fear of rejection that accompanies that love. We are raised in a world that sees rejection as something completely negative and even attaches shame to it. Let me ask you this... If you're allergic to nuts and someone offers you a slice of pecan nut pie which you refuse, does that make the pie less delicious? Does it make the person offering it less kind or less generous?

Giving love makes us strong. It makes us beautiful. If that love is rejected, we are still strong and beautiful and the intended recipient is still worthy of love. Their rejection is not a judgement of us but merely a reflection of where they are and what they are looking for right now. 

Trying to love someone who doesn't want our love is like running full tilt at a brick wall. It's crazy at best and incredibly damaging at worst. Instead of lamenting the people who don't want our love, maybe we should be pouring that love out where it is wanted. Instead of being angry and hurt that people would reject us, maybe we should find the people whose souls sing frrom the same hymn book as ours. 

You'll find them. They're out there. And if you stop giving all your focus to the things that hurt your heart, you'll find the things and the people who make your heart soar. Is it time to change your focus?